The Last Christmas

The Last Christmas

I was sitting in my room, recalling my memories. It had already been a year since that incident but I had yet to be forgiven. Still, that girl was giving me a cold shoulder. I stared at myself in the mirror, disgusted. I hated myself for everything I had done even up until now. I could neither undo the past nor atone for my sin. I looked out the window. It was snowing just like that day - the day I ruined my life with my very own hand. I still remembered the day the nightmare began - 18^th of December, one week before Christmas.

“Hey! Zack! Wait for me!” a voice came from behind. I looked back and saw a girl running towards me. She was not outstanding from the other girls; normal-looking, average in studies and fair in sports. Even though, I truly loved her. Her smiles never fail to cheer me up when I am sad. Well, she was my girlfriend and her name is Snow. She caught up with me, panting, and gave me a dry smile. I padded her head and kissed her gently on her forehead. Her face went as red as a Rudolf’s nose. I laughed lightly before taking her hand and walked her home.

On the way to her house, I asked if she wants to go and watch a movie. She turned me down, saying that it was already her curfew and she needs to be home. I accepted her reason and let her off with it. At that time, I had never thought that it would be the last time I had her by my side…

After sending her home, I went around the town looking for a suitable Christmas present for Snow. I spent long time looking for a present but to no avail. I saw down on a bench along a street, exhausted. I looked around me. The town was covered in white with snow. It reminded me of my ‘mission’. Despite my weary legs, I continued in search for the present for my ‘snowy’ girlfriend.

Finally, I chose a bouquet of roses made of crystal for Snow. Its barely-visible colour made it look like ice but when it was shined with light, the colours glowed as if it was being brought back to life after its long slumber. I grinned in satisfactory as I left the shop, guessing what would Snow’s reaction be when I gave this to her. Will she like it? I held the flower close to myself gingerly. Its charming beauty ensured me that Snow would love it without doubt.

On my way home while I was threading my way through the crowd, trying hard not to damage the present, I saw a teenager around my age, standing by a pole. He looked very familiar to me. I went to have a closer look of him and realized that he is Keyd, my forever best friend. We grew up together like brothers. Keyd is popular among girls but for some unknown reason, he is still single. He seemed to be waiting for someone. I assumed that he is secretly dating someone without telling me! How evil of him! I hid myself and observed him. After some time, a figure came running towards him. I recognized it at once. It was Snow.

Why is Snow here? She is supposed to be at home! Why did she have to lie to me to come and meet Keyd? Many questions came into my mind but I could only come up with an answer. Snow is being unfaithful to me.

I felt as if the whole world was falling apart. I dropped the crystal-roses which shattered into countless of unrecognizable pieces on the icy floor. Tears which I thought that they had dried up long time ago since I met snow were now flowing out uncontrollably. I closed my eyes and faced up, trying to prevent my tears from gushing out. So I am a fool who knew nothing all these times right? I burst into insane laughter. Only that it was not for joy, but for my pathetic fate. How could they do this to me? I looked as the snows descend from the sky. I watched Keyd and Snow in despair as they disappeared into the sea of faces.

The next day, I did not go to school. I was in my worst shape due to lacking of sleep and crying the whole night. My father used to teach me that a man should not shed tear not matter what happens. Still, it could not be helped. To think that I was betrayed by the two people I trusted the most; Keyd and Snow, the pain is just unbearable. The ringing of my hand phone broke the silence.

The caller ID showed ‘Snowy Honey’. I grimaced and threw my hand phone away without holding back. It hit the wall hard with a loud ‘bang’ and it went dead, breaking into several pieces. I cared little about it and dozed off out of exhaustion.

I was woken up some time later by the doorbell. I forced myself out of bed and dragged myself drowsily to the door. I was unaware of who the visitors were. Upon opening the door, the blood within me went wild with rage. I managed to remain composed and confronted my unwelcomed guests, Keyd and Snow.

Before I could say anything, Snow ran to me and held my hand.

“Are you alright, Zack? Why didn’t you come to school today?” Snow asked. “Did you receive calls from me today?” She looked at me with genuine concern.

I freed my hand from hers. “I’m perfectly fine. Just get out of my house right now and don’t ever step here again.” My voice was cold and grave. It was hurtful to say those cruel words to Snow though.

“B-but why?” her voice was shaking as if she would break down any moment. “Did I do something wrong?” Her eyes were turning red.

“You did nothing wrong, Snow,” I said sarcastically with a smile on my face. “Lying to me about the curfew and going out with Keyd isn’t wrong at all. It’s my fault that I have not realized it earlier.”

“She’s just asking me to help her choose a present for you!” Keyd protested. Don’t get her wrong, Zack!”

“Well, just cut those lies out. Just get out of my house will do,” I said. Nothing sounded plausible to me anymore at that time. I was overwhelmed by my emotions. I turned back and started walking back into the house.

“No! Please, Zack! Don’t do this to me!” Snow pleaded as she hugged me, crying out loud. Seeing my girlfriend in her most pathetic state was really excruciating. I grimaced and looked away before shoving her off, intending to free myself but I ended up pushing her too hard. She fell on the ground, her leg bleeding. She was scratched by the steps. Her blood was clearly visible on the white snow. I was taken aback for a second before I understand the situation.

“Snow!” I yelled. I rushed to her to see if she is alright. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you…” She stared at me incredulously in terror, shivering. I tried to help her up but she refused to take me hand. Keyd ran over and helped Snow up to her feet. He pushed me away and stared at me despise.

“If that’s what you want Zack, then farewell.” said Keyd with absolute coldness in his words. He carried Snow and left the house without looking back at me. Only then, then I realized what have I just done. I hurt my most precious person and my best friend. Since that day onwards, I never had a proper conversation with them.

I regretted for everything I have done on that day. I could not go back to the past. Because of my mistake, I had lost Keyd and Snow. If only I was not foolish enough to get carried away by jealousy and anger, I would have understood them and accept their reason and would not be blaming myself like this.

I smiled to myself as I looked at the photo we used to take together. Tears rolled down to my cheeks. I really missed my days with them. I sighed and kept it into a photo album. “Everything… is over.”